


Everything I Wanted

by ladyofdecember



Category: The Simpsons
Genre: Domestic, Established Relationship, M/M, Worried Lenny
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2019-11-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:02:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21539458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyofdecember/pseuds/ladyofdecember
Summary: It was a nice, comfortable arrangement, their “relationship”, even if it was never something they really talked about out loud. It was like a secret game that only the two of them knew how to play.So why was Carl suddenly changing the rules?
Relationships: Carl Carlson/Lenny Leonard
Comments: 3
Kudos: 41





	Everything I Wanted

**Author's Note:**

> This is my attempt at another angsty Lenny and Carl story. Not sure why all I do is write them having strife and an insecure sort of relationship but here we are!
> 
> \---
> 
> "I had a dream  
> I got everything I wanted  
> But when I wake up  
> I see you with me
> 
> And you say, "As long as I'm here, no one can hurt you  
> Don't wanna lie here, but you can learn to  
> If I could change the way that you see yourself  
> You wouldn't wonder why you hear 'they don't deserve you'"  
> \--Everything I Wanted by Billie Eilish

He woke up several times, tossing and turning about before he finally allowed himself to come back to life.

Lenny slowly opened his eyes against the pillowcase he was pressed against, allowed the bright light seeping in through the blinds to awaken him fully.

He checked his clock. '8:35am. It's far too early to wake up just yet.' He mused to himself as he rolled over in his bed.

Wait... it wasn't Saturday! It was Wednesday!! And he was super late to work! 

“Aw nuts!” He mumbled, pushing back the covers in irritation, trying to figure out just how he was going to get ready and get out the door in like five minutes. 'This wouldn't have happened if Carl had stayed over.' He thought bitterly, legs thrown over the edge of the bed as he stared at the brown carpet below. 'He would have woken me up on time.'

...

Jumping in his car with a bit of toast in his mouth, Lenny cursed his luck that he had forgotten to get gas the night before. Seeing the little needle so close to the 'E' sign meant he absolutely had to get gas ASAP. Now he was going to be even later!

Turning on his engine, he stared down at the low gas light that had immediately illuminated in resignation. There was no way he could make it across town to the plant without breaking down if he didn't stop.

He shut his eyes, leaning back against his headrest, as he took several deep breaths to try to calm himself down. Remembering his meditation training, Lenny decided to try to focus on the positives of the day before he let the day get away from him, doused in negativity.

Staring moodily at the sensor as he crunched on his piece of toast, his thoughts turned back to Carl. He hadn't been staying over at his place recently and for the life of him, Lenny couldn't figure out why.

It was a regular thing, splitting time between each other's places. They didn't really plan things ahead of time and each had work clothes and personal ones in each other's dresser drawers. The casualness of spending the night together had seemed to overtake them suddenly, without them even realizing it really. 

Even in the beginning, when it first started happening with more and more regularity, neither had really questioned it or thought it odd. They'd fallen into the rhythm of it without even trying, without even thinking about it.

Their days blurred together alongside their nights. It seemed every second was spent by the other's side and it wasn't a negative thing, not really, as neither man could really see living their life any other way.

Whose house they ended up at just depended on what happened at Moe's in the evening or wherever else they went together. Whose place would it be tonight? Whose place was closer? 

Sometimes, they didn't go out at all. Sometimes, they just opted to stay in for pizza and a movie rather than dealing with the others.

It was a nice, comfortable arrangement, their “relationship”, even if it was never something they really talked about out loud. It was like a secret game that only the two of them knew how to play.

So why was Carl suddenly changing the rules?

Lenny glared at the empty gas gauge before him before clicking his seat belt in place and throwing the car into reverse. He had to hurry or Burns would be on his ass again.

…

The day was uneventful to say the least. Having snuck in to his station at about 9:07am, Lenny had successfully avoided Burns' scorn for the rest of the day though he had his suspicions the man was plotting something. But that was for Future Lenny to worry about and Present Lenny to forget about with some Duff!

As he and Carl strolled out of work at 5:06pm, he turned to beam at his boyfriend and ask the oh-so-predictable question. "So... comin' to Moe's?" He waggled his eyebrows at him as if there was some unseemly double meaning to his words though there really wasn't.

"Nah."

"Nah?!"

Carl stopped just short of where their cars were parked to turn and look at the brunette with an easy shrug. "I'm pretty tired. Think I'm gonna just head on home, microwave a TV dinner and crash. I haven't been sleepin' much lately."

Upon seeing Lenny's suddenly downtrodden expression, he stepped forward with a reassuring smile and an arm around his shoulder. "But you go! Have fun! Tell all the guys hi and I'll see ya in the morning, okay?"

Lenny gave him a small smile and nodded. Carl kissed him firmly on the lips, patted his stubbled cheek with a loving smile and climbed in his Oldsmobile to drive away.

Pausing next to his own car, Lenny briefly wondered if the man was hiding something from him. He let his words and actions wash over his mind as he got inside the car to head to Moe's.

…

“No way!” Moe cried, shaking his head. 

“It's true!” Homer said, taking a long drink of his Duff. “Lisa taught me that with her animal facts cards.”

Moe turned to Lenny who seemed to be entirely zoned out and tried to get his attention. “Hey! Hey! You hear about this?” He began to bang on the bar before them, successfully snapping Lenny out of his reverie.

Sitting up a little straighter at the sudden attention directed towards him, Lenny sputtered. “Huh?” 

“Did you know that pandas eat for half the day? Half of it! Eating and sleeping? That's all they do?”

He eyed Moe and Homer, letting the information turn over in his head, a bit out of it with his preoccupation of thinking about Carl. Lenny finally shrugged and with an easy albeit tired smile said, “What a life!”

Grabbing a hold of his untouched beer, he began to drink generously from it, trying to keep his mind off his worries.

He was failing.

Lenny sank down in his seat a little bit and stared at the golden color of his beer sadly.

“Hey, what's-a-matter there, Len?” Moe asked, shining up a beer mug as he took in his slumped posture.

“I dunno, I just, I think maybe something's bugging Carl. I haven't really seen him or talked to him lately.” He sighed and downed the rest of his Duff. “Maybe it's nothin'.”

“Maybe he's dying!” Homer chimed in and then upon both of their glares, shrank back a little. “Oh, sorry! I mean, I'm sure that's not it!”

Moe set the mug down in the stack behind him and turned to lean up against the bar. “Look Len, I'm sure he's just a little busy, ya know? Maybe he's uh, got a new uh, hobby there or somethin'?”

“Yeah, maybe he's getting super into hockey now.” Homer nodded along, sipping at his Duff happily.

Lenny shrugged and shoved the empty mug away from him. “I don't know what it is. I just wish he'd talk to me. I mean... I figure he owes me that much. If he... wants to see other people or somethin', I mean.” Getting to his feet, he slammed some cash down on the dark wooden bar and smiled sadly at his two friends. “Think I'll head on home guys. Thanks for listenin'.”

As the exit door swung closed, Homer turned back to look at Moe sadly. “Poor guy. Carl's a real catch. He's handsome AND emotionally mature. That's hard to find in a man!”

Moe nodded along. “Tell me about it.”

...

Lenny walked into his bedroom, not looking forward to another day at the plant in the morning. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, he set his alarm clock for 6am and stared sadly at the picture of him and Carl in a gold frame next to it. 

He wondered what he was doing right about now. Checking the time and seeing it was near midnight, he mused he was probably already asleep.

Getting back up, Lenny walked over to his oscillating fan and turned it on for a little white noise as he slept. Climbing beneath the covers, the man shut his eyes, trying not to think anymore about Carl cheating on him or possibly in the midst of just breaking it off.


End file.
